Saturday, October 26, 2013

A Memo from the Theology Editor’s Desk:


             I have recently been bombarded by two, more than eager, bible beaters wanting nothing more than to convert a lost soul in a vain attempt to gain brownie points from their almighty.  My first encounter was fairly brief.  A short, stalky man, in what seems to be somewhat of a uniform for these guys, consisting of well pressed khaki pants, nicely polished brown loafers and a semi-casual collared shirt, caught me off-guard while I was outside doing what I am sure was some random activity, and attempted to tell me of all the joys of Jesus Christ.  Being the antagonist that I am, I quickly rebutted with something along the lines of how I was a Satanist and that he would be awful angry with me if I allowed another god in my house.  I said this knowing that Satanists have no kind of belief in Satan whatsoever, but his reaction showed me that he knew nothing of this.  I often use this tactic to both, test their knowledge and to shock all these puppets found scattered throughout these one horse towns all across this so-called Bible belt, and it’s not hard.  Very few of these people have ever encountered an opposite view, much less one given to them by such a brash individual.  I’m guessing that they have never really had to defend their beliefs due to the fact that everyone they associate themselves with is just as gullible as they are.  It’s not until they run across someone like me that they ever get the notion that their thought process might be completely flawed, and even then and after, they do not relinquish their old world beliefs.  Who are they to “know” and to be so dead set in their ways? And how much goddamn energy and time is wasted pursuing these childlike dreams, going door to door just to try and convince someone that their way of thinking is the only correct way.  These are resources that could be better spent enhancing their view on the real world and the agenda of the people who truly have control, and time that they could devote to things that might actually make a difference, not just in their life, by spending more time with their families, but in the lives of others

            After I had dismissed the first of the would be converters, I simply retired back into my sanctuary and gave it no more thought.  A few weeks later, as I scrambled to get ready for work, a knock came at the door and my immediate response, in the frantic state I was in, was to simply yell across the room and ask who it was.  After a brief moment of silence, I quickly snatched up a shirt and made a mad dash to the door to see just who in the hell was disturbing me.  As soon as I flung the door open I noticed that it was him, the same guy as before, passing out the same type of nonsensical propaganda.  He asked some random question or told me who he was and what he was doing and I immediately declined any kind of invitation or leaflet he might have.  Saying this I proceeded to close the door when he spoke up again.  “I remember you.  Didn’t you say you use to believe?”

            “No sir, what I said was that I was raised southern Baptist.”

            “But you were saved, right?”

            “Yeah, when I was like eight, a long goddamn time before I could think for myself.”

            This little back and forth went on for a while until his partner showed up and chimed in.  Then it was just the three of us exchanging generic dribble out of nothing but anger and excitement.  After, I think it was me that broke the tension with a light hearted smile; we all agreed that if we were all willing to have a sit down, then there should be no reason why we can’t have a civil debate.  I enjoy debating and I am willing to try my hand at civility.

            I decided a few days later, if they were available, which they were not, due to personal reasons, then we should get this thing started.  A few days after I left a message, the man in tan, did come knocking again, eager to sit with me but, at the moment I was busy dealing with some personal business and wasn’t quite in the mood to debate anyone over anything.  We agreed then on a day that would be good for both of us.  I told him that I had to get my mind straight, which included various personal activities, and that I should be more than ready by two o’clock on that day.  I have recorded the lengthiest of our conversations so far.  I figured this would lend to less confusion when I sat to type the whole thing up.  I had planned to record them all, but a few unexpected visits and his distaste for being recorded made it a bit more difficult than I had anticipated.   

            Even with me being the arrogant, know-it-all I am, I plan to try my best to be open-minded during all of his and my upcoming discussions, but I will warn you I will only believe things within reason.  Whose reason, we will decide later. Hopefully it will be my own but that is not always the case.  To me personally religion is far outdated.  Of course no one knows what really happens when one dies, but the rest of it that they try and convince you of is pure fantastical bullshit, at least in my opinion. 

            Of course this is only one man’s opinion of one aspect of the religious industrial complex, but this fragmented belief structure shapes the world we all live in by dictating the laws that constitute moral activity.  And they do this with total disregard to the separation laws put in place.  Vice crimes are church crimes and therefore have no place outside the church. 

            Follow me, as I am sure to make an ass out of myself, in a somewhat futile attempt to try and understand this whole “faith” thing.  It’s something that has bothered me for a while and there must be some reasoning behind it.  Even Anton Lavey knew religion held a soft spot in people’s heart, no matter the deity.  Why do so many people need faith to survive?  Why blindly follow someone who knows as much, or less than you do about what is really going on?  These are the questions that really intrigue me, and I hope to find some sort of answers on my own.

            If you care to comment and tell me why you have faith, all would be welcome.

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